I’ve been told that you consider yourself the best, most wise parent BEFORE having a baby and they weren’t wrong. Before Hazel came along, in my mind, keeping up my work volume seemed possible. Raising a human seemed challenging but straight forward. In all honestly, I held slight judgement towards mothers who would tell me that they had to pause their business to have a baby. I EVEN held slight judgement towards mothers who “over-coddled” their babies (oh goodness!)!

My mind would also think things like…

“what could possibly be harder than getting a business off the ground?”…

“just get through the pregnancy then things will be easier”…

“if she can do it, so can you”…

“that won’t happen to you”…

“you won’t be emotional like that, you’re too practical”…

“you, Mark and the Dog all sleep well, therefore the baby will sleep well”…

“you won’t want to breastfeed – that’ll make things easier for the business”…

Bless my naïve and inexperienced heart.

This first year of Motherhood, while also keeping two small businesses alive and well, has been a bit like living a real life version of Lord of the Rings. Around every corner is a new challenge that I don’t know if I’ll survive, but then the beauty of it all sets in and carries me through to the next. Along the way we’ve collected new friends, new team members, new support systems, all that have made the journey easier but it has ABSOLUTELY been a journey.

What I have discovered in this past year:

• the challenge of becoming new parents, for us, has been in a league all its own. It’s been wild yet wonderful, painful yet extraordinary, exhausting yet nourishing, stripping yet soul filling.
• the LOVE of this new little life has wrapped itself around my practical heartstrings, tugging at them with every move – making me into an emotional decision maker, and that is OK!
• that I actually can do “all the things I used to do”, just not all at once, nor all in the same day/ sometimes in the same month! OR with the same level of brain cells I used to have! In fact, focusing in on areas for short periods of time with all of my attention has actually benefited the business in many ways.
• that my capacity as a human, my pain/stress tolerance, or my level of resiliency really can’t compare to anyone else’s, especially when it comes to motherhood. We are ALL unique, and we are ALL in different circumstances. Just because what I can handle is different to someone else, does not make me, or anyone else any less than.
• That 1am, 2am, and 3am are much easier to get out of bed for than 4am or 5am.
• That you can go your whole life saying you don’t want to breastfeed if you have a baby, and then the baby comes out and now suddenly it’s over a year and you are still breastfeeding! Never say never!
• That I have 0 judgement towards mothers and the decisions they need to make when it comes to running, downsizing or not running a business and having a baby. This mothering gig is as full time as it gets. It’s more like eyes open to eyes closed… and even then when you get your eyes closed you are still “on”.

Sending my love to all the mommas out there who are on pause with their business, have decided to close their business, or are juggling business and motherhood together – you are ALL rockstars.